Adam S. McHugh is a self-proclaimed introvert and also a Presbyterian minister and writes about it in Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture (InterVarsity Press, 2009). We asked him about how social communication technologies are helpful or a harm to introverts generally?
“I’m ambivalent about social media for introverts. On the one hand, it is a wonderful technology for connecting with people in ways that may feel more comfortable for introverts. We often prefer writing to speaking because we can do it on 
our own time without fear of being interrupted. I’ve used social media like Twitter and Facebook to make initial connections with people that I have later met in person.
“At the same time, I think the danger is an artificial sense of intimacy that can leave us feeling lonely and isolated. I think we need to balance our use of social media with in-the-flesh connections in order to have a healthy sense of self and of intimacy with others.”
McHugh responded to questions from Church Executive:
What does it mean to be an introvert?
It’s really important to me to define introversion by what it is rather than what it’s not. Too often “introvert” is equated with being antisocial or standoffish or shy or misanthropic or unfriendly, but that’s not accurate. Introverts are people who find their energy in solitude, who go inside of themselves in order to process information before they speak, and who often prefer depth over breadth in their relationships and interests.
In what ways might you have felt “left out” of the church in being an introvert?
Broadly speaking, many churches communicate (usually unintentionally) that faithfulness involves an increasing participation in church activities and a growing acquaintance with more and more people. For those of us who lose energy in social interaction and who generally prefer intimate relationships with just a few people, this can be discouraging and lead us to wonder about our spiritual maturity. We may not be comfortable in large group social settings and we may find that small groups comprised of other people we don’t know can be intimidating.
Is being an introvert different in a church of, say, 150 members, than in a megachurch of thousands?
Those are different experiences, but since there are different kinds of introverts, both can be good environments for introverts. A small church offers a greater sense of intimacy and familiarity, as you bump up against the same people week after week, but a megachurch offers an environment that doesn’t leave introverts feeling as exposed in worship.
In what ways is the megachurch ill equipped to engage and involve those of us who are introverted?
It seems that megachurches are always in the tension of drawing large crowds and powering a large movement, but at the same time setting up ways for people to connect intimately with one another. Introverts are often attracted to large churches because of the anonymity of the setting, but I fear that in large churches they will never experience the church as a place where they are truly “known.”
I believe that our relationships in the church ought to embody the reality that we are truly known and seen by God. The primary structure megachurches employ for fostering intimacy is the small group, but when these groups are comprised of people that do not know each other, it can be a very intimidating environment for introverts. We are not inclined to share much of ourselves except with people we have known for quite a while.
Would you say that a lot of engaging pastors are really “closet introverts”?
Absolutely. I’ve seen stats that say anywhere from 25 to 40 percent of Protestant senior pastors are introverts. You have to remember that introversion is not shyness and that introverts can start with high energy, can be charismatic and dynamic speakers, and may really enjoy people; it’s just that after church we may need a long nap and time to ourselves.
As an introverted Christian I have attended heavily crowded Christian conventions where I was anonymous, and yet, felt right at home, between brothers and sisters from all parts of the country (Netherlands). The thing is, in the church I attend, I am that older, single guy in a church full of families with children or people way younger or older than I am. I am the odd man out, the guy who just doesn’t blend in. But at a convention like the kind I mentioned, I am simply a brother in Christ, one of many. That’s all I ever want, to be accepted that way, free from being categorized otherwise, because in spite of our Lord having been single in His time on Earth, being single is generally seen within churches as still being in the waiting room of marriage. It’s awkward and hurtful. After years of vainly attempting to blend in, I have come to realize that what I crave most, being truly and meaningfully connected with others within the church, is not for me, not at my present church anyway. I feel more lonely there than outside the church. Counter intuitive as it may sound, I think I’ll feel more at home in a mega church, where I’m simply a brother in Christ, nothing more. I’m going to give that a try. If I cannot blend in, I might as well embrace being anonymous. At least the Lord knows who I am.
As a pastor who prefers introversion, I prefer larger congregations. I appreciate the opportunity to engage community based on my own choices, rather than based on congregational norms. My experience in smaller congregations is that participatory roles are limited and the expectation of social interaction from the pastor is much higher. In a larger congregation, I am expected to be most present to the congregation at large on Sundays. I can also be present in larger congregations through other means than face to face–through social media and blogging. Smaller congregations have been good experiences for me as well, but larger congregations seem to work better for me as an introvert.