Why the Church must champion real human connection in an age of loneliness
By Denise Craig, CAE, CCA
Walk into any airport, coffee shop or college campus today and you’ll see something both fascinating and heartbreaking: people talking to their phones. They’re not scrolling, not texting, but talking.
On the other end of that conversation isn’t a friend or family member. It’s an AI companion.
This is no longer a futuristic concept. AI “relationships” are becoming normalized, especially among younger generations. Apps designed to simulate friendship, emotional support, and even romantic connection are growing rapidly. People are turning to AI not because they love technology, but because they’re lonely.
Susan Mettes writes in her book, The Loneliness Epidemic, 31% of adults report feeling lonely at least some of each day. At the same time, AI relationship apps have exploded, with millions of users forming daily conversational habits with digital personas.
As Carey Nieuwhof observes, people aren’t drawn to AI because they love technology. They’re drawn to it because they long for connection.
Kenny Jahng, a leading voice in digital ministry, also warns that AI companions are filling relational gaps the Church has unintentionally left open.
The rise of AI relationships isn’t a novelty. It’s a symptom. And it’s a wake‑up call for the Church.
Loneliness is the new mission field
The U.S. Surgeon General has declared loneliness a public health epidemic, noting its impact is “as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.” Barna’s research shows that 65% of pastors say loneliness is one of the top issues affecting their congregations.
People are not just lonely. They are starved for connection. They want someone who listens without judgment, responds quickly, and never grows tired. AI offers that. But it cannot offer what humans were created for: embodied presence, shared experience, and spiritual community.
AI can simulate empathy, but it cannot embody it.
Why people are turning to AI for emotional support
AI companions are appealing because they offer:
- Instant availability
- Zero relational risk
- Personalized attention
- No expectations or conflict
For a generation that feels safer behind a screen than in a room, this feels easier than real relationships. Barna’s digital engagement research found that 44% of Gen Z feels more comfortable being honest online than in person.
But AI relationships are ultimately a counterfeit version of community. They offer simulated connection without commitment, empathy without embodiment, relationship without shared investment.
The Church must step into this gap with courage and compassion.
AI is a tool. It’s not a substitute for us.
AI can help churches operate more efficiently. It can automate tasks, personalize communication, and free staff from administrative overload. But it cannot:
- Sit with someone in their grief
- Hold a hand at a hospital bedside
- Laugh in a hallway
- Pray with tears
- Offer the warmth of human presence
The ministry of presence cannot be outsourced.
The Church’s opportunity: reclaiming human connection
Jesus modeled relational ministry. He noticed the overlooked, touched the untouchable, and sat with those who were lonely. Mark 10:45 reminds us that He “came not to be served, but to serve.” Service is relational. It’s human. It’s the way we were designed, in God’s image.
If people are turning to AI for companionship, it’s because they’re longing for what the Church is uniquely equipped to offer: authentic, embodied, relational community.
But this requires intentional leadership, especially from church executives and administrators.
What church leaders must do now
- Slow down enough to see people again
Busyness is the enemy of connection. Make space for hallway conversations, staff check‑ins, and relational presence.
- Build systems that prioritize belonging
People don’t drift into community. They’re guided into it. Create pathways that help newcomers form friendships, not just attend programs.
- Train staff and volunteers in relational ministry
Listening is a spiritual discipline. Empathy is a leadership skill. Presence is pastoral care.
- Use AI to free up time for human connection
Let AI handle tasks so humans can handle people.
- Model healthy connection from the top
When leaders slow down, others follow. Culture shifts when executives prioritize relationships.
A call to action for church executives
Church leaders, this is our moment.
In a world where people are forming emotional bonds with algorithms, the Church must become the most relationally rich environment in their lives. Not the most efficient. Not the most polished. The most human.
Slow down.
Look up.
Make time for the people God has placed in your path.
In an age of AI companionship, the Church can offer something far more powerful: real, embodied, Christ‑centered community.
No algorithm can replace that.
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Denise Craig, CAE CCA is a dynamic leader with more than 30 years of experience, currently serving as the CEO of The Church Network. She is passionate about helping others discover their God-given purpose and excels in strategic leadership. Denise is a member of the advisory panel for Church Executive Magazine, serves on the Board of Directors for the Tennessee Society of Association Executives, and is a frequent speaker at various events. She holds certifications as a Certified Association Executive, Certified Church Administrator, and Certified Financial Coach.
Denise can be reached at denise@thechurchnetwork.com.
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